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Parenting: the Most Important Job on the
Planet
A person's
upbringing and education starts in his or her family. Even when
children grow up and become independent, their families never
stop influencing their lives. The family is responsible for an
individual's physical and moral development and it is in the
family that values, norms and ideas are communicated from
generation to generation. Being a parent is one of the most
challenging tasks in the world. Parents ought to love, protect
and guide their child. They should show affection and sympathy,
understand their children's feelings and help them solve their
problems.
A child's
upbringing is not a chaotic and uncontrollable process. It is a
great responsibility that demands certain knowledge, skills and
experience. Of course different parents have different views of
what they want to 'implant' in the mind of their offspring. But
all parents want their children to become nice, responsible and
mature individuals with a broad outlook and a kind heart. First
and foremost parents should choose the right parenting style.
There are four types of parenting styles that differ in the
degree of parental demands and responsiveness: permissive,
authoritarian, authoritative and neglectful. But as a rule
parents usually combine these styles depending on the situation.
A lot of parents
choose to adhere to a permissive parenting style which is also
called indulgent or nondirective. It doesn't require a great
share of discipline on the part of the parent and that of the
child. There are no clear conduct patterns or strict demands as
sometimes parents fear to lose their children's love if they set
limits. Children are usually given unrestricted freedom and they
are allowed to behave as they want and to do what they wish.
Permissive parents don't usually punish their children and they
are very attentive to their children's wishes and needs.
Child-rearing experts disapprove of such way of upbringing and
say that it is not beneficial for children who may take
advantage of their parents' indulgence and become disobedient,
aggressive, irresponsible and egoistic.
Those parents who
choose to adhere to an authoritarian parenting style are strict
and demanding. Some specialists characterize this style as
restrictive and punitive. Authoritarian parents force their sons
and daughters to obey a set of rules and punish them for a
slight disobedience. Such mums and dads do not give their
children much freedom and do not allow them to make their own
decisions and choices. They value submission and obedience most
of all and discourage independence and individuality.
Authoritarian parents set very high standards and don't like
their authority to be questioned or doubted. They do not show
warmth and affection towards their children. As a result
children may fear their parents, feel rejected and lack
self-confidence, curiosity and independence.
Authoritative
parents are strict but fair. They use punishment and praise
appropriately. When authoritative parents punish children, they
always explain their motive for the punishment. Such parents
prefer discussions and explanations and value compromise. They
make rules appropriate to a child's age and capabilities and
serve as a role model for him or her to follow providing support
and guidance. Children are given enough freedom but at the same
time they are under their parents' constant control. The main
goal is building strong trusting relationships between parents
and children. In such families children are usually cheerful,
self-confident, responsible and socially successful. This
parenting style is the most recommended according to experts.
Neglectful
parents are often undemanding and indifferent towards their
children. They do not set limits and do not control their
children's behaviour. Such parents are preoccupied with their
own needs and spend little time with their offspring. As
neglectful parents are too busy with their obligations, they are
uninvolved in their children's life and don't express interest
in it. Neglectful parents do not demonstrate warmth and
affection that is why children in such families feel ignored,
unloved and depressed.
If parents want
their children to be happy and to develop successfully, it is
essential to maintain harmony and the atmosphere of love, mutual
respect, acceptance, understanding and open communication in
their family. Special parent education classes are organized in
order to help parents perfect their parenting knowledge and
skills. It is important to remember that parents should combine
love, discipline and limits in order to raise healthy and happy
children. Parents who fully realize their responsibility and do
their best to help their child become a responsible, well-bred,
independent and tolerant adult are rewarded when their sons and
daughters become successful members of society.
1. Read the following sentences and circle TRUE or FALSE:
1) A person's upbringing and education starts in school. T|F|
2) When children grow up and become independent, their families
stop influencing their lives. T|F|
3) A child's upbringing is a chaotic and uncontrollable process.
T|F|
4) A permissive parenting style requires a great share of
discipline on the part of the parent and that of the child. T|F|
5) Those parents who choose to adhere to an authoritarian
parenting style are strict and demanding. T|F|
6) Authoritarian parents give their children unrestricted
freedom. T|F|
7) Authoritative parents use punishment and praise
appropriately. T|F|
8) Neglectful parents are often strict but fair. T|F|
2. Complete each sentence (A—H) with one of the endings
(1—8):
A. It is in the family that
B. Different parents have different views of what they want to
C. There are four types of parenting styles that differ in
D. Permissive parents fear to
E. Authoritarian parents force their sons and daughters to
F. Authoritative parents make rules appropriate to a child's age
and capabilities and serve as
G. As neglectful parents are too busy with their obligations
they are
H. If parents want their children to be happy and to develop
successfully, it is essential to
1. maintain harmony and the atmosphere of love, mutual respect,
acceptance, understanding and open communication in their
family.
2. values, norms and ideas are communicated from generation to
generation.
3. lose their children's love if they set limits.
4. a role model for him or her to follow providing support and
guidance.
5. uninvolved in their children's life.
6. 'implant' in the mind of their offspring.
7. the degree of parental demands and responsiveness.
8. obey a set of rules and punish them for a slight
disobedience.
3. Imagine that you are a parent. What would you do in the
following situations?
• Your 9-year-old son refuses to perform the simplest duties
about the house: to make his bed, to remove his toys, to wash
his plate after dinner, etc.
• Your 12-year-old daughter has become aggressive and difficult
to control. She spends too much time with her friends, shirks
school and smokes. Your attempts to discipline her make the
things worse.
• Your 6-year-old son asks you to buy him a very expensive toy.
He does not stop talking about it. Besides, his best friend's
parents have already bought him 'that wonderful robot'. You
don't want to upset your son but you can't afford to buy this
toy.
4. Answer the questions
1) What role does the family play in a child's development?
2) Why is being a parent one of the most challenging tasks in
the world?
3) What are parents' duties? Which of them do you consider the
most important?
4) How can you characterize the relationships between permissive
parents and their children?
5) Why do child-rearing experts say that a permissive parenting
style is not beneficial for children?
6) What are the disadvantages of an authoritarian parenting
style?
7)
Why is an authoritative parenting style the most recommended
according to experts?
8) Why do children feel unloved and depressed if their parents
adhere to a neglectful parenting style?
9) What should parents remember if they want to raise healthy
and happy children?
10) What parenting style would you like to adhere to when you
have children? Explain your choice.
5. Imagine you are a child-rearing expert. You have been
asked to make a list of rules for parents. Continue the list
A. Give your child a lot of love and warmth but don't fear
to be strict and to set limits.
B. Don't be too harsh and demanding as too much pressure can
make your child rebel against your authority and power.
C. Try to avoid ambiguity in giving directions. Don't change
your mind if you have already said YES or NO.
D.
........
6. Read the quotations below. Choose any quotation and
comment on it
• 'I believe that a parent's role is to provide a path or
opportunity for their children.' (David Soul)
• 'Consciously or unconsciously children pattern themselves on
their parents.' (A. Linkletter)
• A wise parent humors the desire for independent action, so as
to become the friend and advisor when his absolute rule shall
cease.' (Elizabeth Gaskell)
• All the time a person is a child he is both a child and
learning to be a parent. After he becomes a parent he becomes
predominantly a parent reliving childhood.' (Benjamin Spock)
• 'If you raise your children to feel that they can accomplish
any goal or task they decide upon, you will have succeeded as a
parent and you will have given your children the greatest of all
blessings.' (Brian Tracy)
• A child who is allowed to be disrespectful to his parents will
not have true respect for anyone.' (Billy Graham)
• 'If you 've never been hated by your child, you 've never been
a parent.' (Bette Davis)
• 'There is no friendship, no love, like that of the parent for
the child.' (Henry Ward Beecher)
Look at the pictures by Bidstrupp and say what mistakes the
parents made. How can you characterize their parenting style?
Give them some tips.
A. Look at the list of values, norms and traits that parents
usually want their children to develop. Which of them do you
consider more important? Organize a discussion with the other
members of your group.
Responsibility, good manners, obedience, tolerance,
curiosity, unselfishness, responsiveness, self-reliance,
industry, creativity, optimism, independence, thrift,
self-control, determination, persistence, generosity,
sociability
B. Read the text 'Parenting: the Most Important Job on the
Planet' and say if you agree or disagree with the title.
Из учебного пособия
"Открывая
мир с английским языком. Современные темы для обсуждения.
Готовимся к ЕГЭ" Юнёва С.А. 2012г.
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